My Life in the Hunger Games Humor
by TheNerdwithStyle
Summary: Just a short little thing I made when I was bored.


(So this is like a parody, so it's not going to be serious in the least, and I love The Hunger Games, so I'm not a hater of the book or anything, so no hate please? ^^")

Walking through the dank forest my nerves on end, I keep the knife in hand ready to stab whoever comes my way. This is killed or be killed. I wasn't planning on dying. I was going to win this game. Once I win, I'll kill the Capitol. Yes, I know that's a place, and quite impossible to kill, but I'll find a way. Maybe I'll nuke it to death, or spread a poisonous gas through the town, or have Godzilla and King Kong crush it. It doesn't matter how the Capitol is killed, just as long as it is killed. I'll be sure to spare the president, for he will teach me the way of being an evil president, just like him. Oh how he is my idol. Since I was little I've always wanted to be like him. His evil laugh was to die for. His sinister smile gave me chills. And his deep voice of evil, how it made me feel inspired to be evil. I was truly his number one fan. I had a mug with his face on it, a T-shirt that read: I love my diabolical president, and a pen that when you clicked it it rang his evil laugh. Oh and for the ring tone on my phone, I had his evil laugh. His number one fan is what I am.

As I walk forward, making sure that I step on every twig in my way, just to prove how tough I was to the surrounding bunny rabbits and squirrels, kicking every rock within my foot's reach, and pulling random leaves off bushes, I smell a BBQ. I lick my lips. I hadn't had a hotdog since lunch this morning when my mentor "Mom" sent me some from home with my president lunch box. I inched forward, drawing the rocket-launcher I had slung around my back, and looked between the leaves of a nearby tree. There they were. The tributes from District 3. Oh how I envied them. They had their own BBQ and hotdogs.

Back home in District 21 if you wanted a hotdog you had to go to "The Hood". It wasn't that big a deal since that's where I lived. In The Hood, we all were tough as nails. Yeah, if you got clipped with a knife, you broke. Just like a nail. You'd have to go to Billy Bob and bargain with him for a hotdog. I gave up my brother one time just to get a hotdog. I was so hungry, and my brother... well he was just another mouth to feed at home, so it didn't matter. I was doing my family a favor. Once he was gone with Billy Bob, I went home and asked if I could have his room, as well as keeping my own. My parents were so proud of me. They didn't even know what to say when I told them I gave my brother up for a hotdog. Shaking their heads in pride, and joyful tears rolling down their face, I took his room, knocking the sheet down that seperated our room. I now had a bigger room. I happily blared my folk music, and enjoyed the peace and quiet without my brother.

I shot the rocket-launcher right at the District 3 tributes. Killing them all, scorching them just like they had scorched the hotdogs. How could they have been so shameless as to burn the hotdogs? Were they pyromaniacs or something? Burning food? Don't they know that there are other tributes starving in these games?

I grabbed the remains of the scorched hotdogs, and headed out to find someone else to nuke out of the competion. I had to win. I had to win for myself. I had to win so I could meet my idol. The president.

I fell asleep in the middle of the forest, not bother to camoflauge myself. Why bother? My manliness would scare them away. I look quite manly when I sleep if you didn't know. I snored louder than anyone I knew. How do I know I snore? I stayed up one night to hear me snore, and man, did I ever snore loud.

I awoke to the sound of people yelling on the hill by me... I looked up and saw that they were yelling at the clouds in the sky. Why were they yelling at the clouds? Didn't they know that yelling at the clouds would make it rain? Sighing, I got up to go tell them to stop, but then I noticed they were yelling that their thorn bushes were taken. I'd heard of these people. They were the people of Larry. Horrible idiotic creatures. They thought that the clouds ruled the world, when it was obviously flies. Want to know how I know that? Because of the book: Lord of the Flies.

Now I've never read the book, but the title just tells me all.

I quickly ran up the hill, nuked the people of Larry out of my way, and headed over to where I saw a disco going on. Didn't people know disco was dead? In my anger of the disco dancers stupidity, I nuked them too. Feeling refreshed I headed up to where I saw all the remaining tributes gathered, they were sharing gum, and texting. Oh how I was envious of them.

Jogging over casually, I asked them if I could sit with them and have a piece of gum. They all looked at each other, and shared an evil grin, and said I could come over. How nice these people were. A tribute from District 6 handed me a piece of gum that had devilish red smoke coming from inside the wrapper, and a big skull and cross bones on the wrapper. I kindly thanked the tribute, and chewed my gum.

It had a funny taste. Kind of like rat poison. I bet you can't guess how I know what rat poison tastes like. I ate some one day to see if it was really poisonous. It was! I was rushed to the ER and had to get my stomache pumped. But I felt like a hero after eating it. I risked my life to make sure that the rat poison my dad had bought was really poisonous. What a hero I was.

Spitting the gum at the tribute froom District 6, and hitting him in a the eye, I got up, and walked away, saying I'd see them the next day. As I walk away, I feel something stick me in the back. It was a knife. How nice of them! They were giving me an extra knife!

I pulled it out of my armored back, and threw a few skunks at them in return, and went on my way. How nice were those tributes?

The games ended moments later. Those skunks had poison stink stuff coming from their tails. I felt kind of bad killing the other tributes, but it had to be done. I had to meet my idol. It wasn't like their deaths were for nothing.

I was now one step closer to meeting my idol.

The end.


End file.
